Encountering Resistance

 Post #2 in the Happiness Series. Click here to check out part one and here to read part three.

Fear is a natural response to life, especially in what can sometimes feel like a scary world. 

But fear isn’t reality, and it often steals our joy in the process. 

That's not to say it isn’t important, however, and it teaches you how to shift your life to one of true joy and love. 

Today I’ll be talking about fear and its many masks, as well as how it manifests in your daily life, and how you can shift your mindset to one of love and experience more true joy.

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Fear is A Learned Response, But So Is Love

Recently I’ve started to dismantle my fear and observe how it shows up in my body. 

I’ve felt more connected spiritually and I’ve been able to trust that everything will indeed be okay, and I’ve started realizing, most of my fear is learned and solidified through habitual thought.

When I’m anxious, if I shift my thoughts and start paying attention to my breathing, if I remind myself that everything really will be okay in the end, it lessens.

The more I focus on happiness and expanding my joy, the more my habitual thoughts are focused on joy and my anxiety becomes foreign to me, something that I’m better able to cope with and understand as just another pattern of thought.

The thing with fear is, we’ve learned it as a culture. 

You, gorgeous girl, have learned fear as a result of the people and circumstances around you. They meant well, but you've adopted this mindset of fear and scarcity that is holding you back.

But just as you’ve learned fear, you can unlearn fear and fall back into the soft embrace of love. 

This is something I’m currently working on, and it isn’t easy, but it’s becoming a lifestyle for me. 

A lifestyle of feeling good. 

A lifestyle of investing in my own happiness and consciously choosing it every day. 

A lifestyle rooted in peace rather than lack. 

This unlearning happens when you start pressing into the sensation of fear rather than resisting it. 

What you resist will persist, and fear is no exception. In fact, it may well be the thing that coined the phrase. 

So instead of resisting it, being afraid that you are afraid as I like to think of it, take a deep breath and allow it to exist. See what it can teach you.

It only takes a moment, but when we start to reprogram our brains to step into the mindset of love rather than fear, we step outside of that black cloud and into this white space beyond fear where we realize just how irrational it really is in the moment.

It's hard to explain, especially in the moment you're feeling fear, but I've begun to experience it more and more as I learn to let go and step into the present moment.

Fear is a learned state of being, and the truth is many of us fall back into it by default. I know that at times that can certainly be true for me.

But love is a learned state of being too, and the more you learn to fall back into it, the more you can learn to release any resistance you have to it.

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Stepping Into Love on The Daily

But how do you shift into love when fear is such a programmed state of being?

Well girl, it starts by making your love mindset a ritual, to the point where it is more natural for you to be overcome with joy than it is for you to be overcome with fear.

Here are a few tips you can implement to start stepping into love as a lifestyle:

Shift Your Perception

If your mindset is fear-based, it is likely that you won't be able to truly step into love until you've shifted your mindset and perception to that of love.

Think of it as tuning a dial.

With each thought and each moment, you are in control of that dial.

You choose which frequency you are tuned in to at any moment, and the primary ends of the spectrum are love and fear. There are pit stops in between, like doubt or worry or comfort or happiness, but they all come out of one side of the dial. 

Once you start to take responsibility for your joy by realizing that you are the one in charge of the dial at every moment, you start to shift your perception.

You start to realize that while you can't always control your circumstances, you can control your reaction to them, and that can have a ripple affect on every area of your life, giving you more freedom and access to joy at any moment.

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Make Alignment Your Top Priority

Before you take any action whatsoever in your day, make sure you are aligned.

Alignment simply means to feel good. When you come from this place of feeling good, you have clarity, joy, you feel safe and life tends to flow much more easily.

It may be hard to sustain at first, but once you make it a lifestyle, it becomes second nature to you and you begin to increase your capacity for joy, in turn reducing your threshold for fear.

The thing with alignment is, it is a state of being that trickles into most other areas of your life once you do it. So if you lacked clarity in one area of your life or you felt afraid to take the next move, in your aligned state you may find that answers come easily to you and you have more clarity than when you do not feel good and come from a place of fear.

If you'd like to hear more about alignment, click here to check out a podcast episode all about alignment, what it is and how to sustain it in your life.

Let Go of What No Longer Serves You

The month of May for me has been all about alignment, and as I've made it my priority more and more, I am learning more and more about what no longer serves me and how to let go of it.

When alignment is my priority, I become aware of the things that do not bring me alignment or shift me out of it. 

I've stopped watching the news as much, because although it is great to be informed, I decided to take my own advice (which I've shared here on the blog about balancing being informed and living with joy) and take a break.

Satire made me laugh, but it also made me angry and sad and got me into this low vibe that is not serving me. It is not serving me to become upset about politics or to become angry at something I cannot control.

What I can control is my reality, my life, and what I want is to live with joy. So I am in the middle of making a deal with myself, which I am still in the process of carrying out, about letting go of the things that are not aligned for me.

I'm choosing to let go of a lot of the 'shoulds' and instead embrace what feels good, what feels right for me in the moment. 

This has also transferred into my business as I am just flowing with what feels good for me to create and put out to you, lovely, so that I can create content that comes from the heart.

What feels good or not good for me may not be aligned with you, and that is okay.

There is no rule book for living with joy, just let go of what no longer serves you or speaks to you and let in what you want more of in life. If you find that something you've been doing isn't what you want anymore, let it go and don't feel guilty about it.

It only makes more space for something new and wonderful to come into your life.

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Witness Your Fear and Shift Out of It

What has worked most for me to shift out of fear in the moment has been to first of all practice love as a lifestyle using the tips above, and second of all to witness it and consciously shift out of it.

I know, it can seem impossible to do in the moment. That has certainly been true for me in the past, but as I've learned to shift my mindset, it has become easier in the moment to fall back into love.

If I find myself anxious, as I sometimes do, I will catch myself going down a train of thought and cut it off immediately.

Then I will take a step back and witness it. I will think about stepping out of this dark cloud, stepping out of my fear for just a moment, and gaining clarity. I like to do this visually, imagining stepping back and looking at my thoughts as an observer. 

Then I will take a few deep breaths, look around me and attempt to choose a different thought. Sometimes it is an appreciative thought, and other times it is just a distraction, but I try to get out of that state. If I am in physical pain, I will repeat the mantra to myself, "If I stay relaxed, the pain will be more manageable."

This mantra anchors me to my conscious choice of thoughts, my power, and my ability to influence my reality with my thinking. I have also tried visualizations and viewing it as just another sensation, which I'll talk more about in this week's podcast.

Generally, I just choose another thought or I stop thinking about that certain subject altogether, sometimes both. It helps to get into alignment and then come back to it.

When I get anxious, the one thing that I know it is important for me to realize is that I have my power at every moment to shift out of it, to choose a new thought.

It hasn't always been easy and sometimes I don't manage to shift out of it, but more often as I have been practicing these techniques I have been able to shift out of it. At first it has been for little worries, but now I am doing this with bigger things like physical pain.

It's a lifestyle, an ongoing experiment, but with every trial it becomes easier to obtain peace and fall back into love. I know that the more I do this, the more that you learn to do this, the more we will experience the joy that we want in our lives.


I hope you enjoyed the second part of this series! I'll be back again soon with the third part of the series, thank you for reading to the end of this post, it means so much to me to help you have more happiness in life!

Have a beautiful day, gorgeous!

xo,

Abbey

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